Although WordPress suggests I delete their automatic post in favor of starting out with my own, I think I’ll keep it. My own thoughts, then, shall be second. For the background of what this journal/blog/compilation of ramblings shall be, please check out the “Definitions” page (it will save space here).
This is a blog (well, yes) by a person who doesn’t completely understand the allure of blogging or the finer concepts of technology. I do, however, understand that I am currently living a life that has far more God in it than I’m always comfortable with or even aware of–and this is something I don’t think I experience alone.
Not that I want a life with less God. Far from it! But sometimes (read: often) I get so blindsided by the ways the divine touches the common. We’ll start with providence: this week, my car was not a happy camper.
I have the feeling all of you, my fledgling readers, can appreciate the panic that comes from having car troubles while in the midst of what are euphemistically referred to as “salad days.” My friends inform me this is why I need to obtain a credit card, which is a whole other discussion, but suffice it to say my dear little chariot was having her share of fits and starts and shudders and the small things I was doing were not making her any better. When she almost stalled on me on the way to work, I knew I couldn’t skirt the problem any longer, so I took her in to the dealer. Two days before I needed to make a trip to another state for a friend’s wedding.
At this point, I started freaking out about it, not least because the day itself had already been less than stellar and now this. After four years of Christianity, I’ve started responding (very, very belatedly) to freak out moments with prayer. Well, usually it’s more yelling, or pleading, mostly yelling–God and I have a very interesting relationship in which I say a lot of things that would get me kicked off of network television and He waits until I calm down and stop swearing.
So I prayed. Lord, oh Lord, I don’t know how I’m going to pay for this, I don’t know what I’m going to do if I can’t afford it or they can’t fix it, I did not PLAN for this. I’m a bit of a planner, you see, and a lot more of a control freak. I think God is amused by this.
So they fixed my car–total came to exactly everything that I had in my checking and savings. And while this is very not good in some ways, it wasn’t more than I had. And I get paid in a couple of days. And a friend of mine loaned me some money in remembrance of when I carted her around during car troubles a few months ago.
“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?…For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.” (Matt. 6:27, 32, NKJV)
Will August be very rough financially? Yes. But do I have a God Who has my back, has already opened up venues of gifts from family and friends to make up for the surprise expense, has given me the faith to understand that the car now sitting in my parking lot and the marked-up checkbook in front of me are never going to be as important or necessary as Him? Yes.
Life is tough sometimes, and money is a very stressful idea. But thanks be to God for Someone to lean on in those moments of uncertainty and fear.
God is good–all the time.