Hi, Reader! I just wanted to check in since I know I’ve fallen off of my weekly rhythm of late. My apologies, and my thanks for your patience. You see, having come to the place of applying to seminary, then getting accepted to seminary, then accepting that acceptance, then resigning from my job, then tying off the loose ends of this life I’ve built over the last six years…
Now I have to move.
Egads! Everything I own is covered in dust and cobwebs, I’m finding, but also I own SO MUCH STUFF tucked away in odd corners.
And in between the sneezing fits and sweaty shiftings of boxes, I’ve been a little preoccupied realizing that I’ve made quite a space for myself in the hearts of some folks up here. That may sound silly to you, but when you leave a place you are given a front row seat to the impact you’ve had—sort of It’s a Wonderful Life without the having-never-been-born bit. And damn, Reader, but I’ve wormed my way into a lot of random places I hadn’t even realized.
And leaving that sucks. So. Much.
So I’ve been super busy with preaching and lunches and getting my job ready so someone else can step into it and finding a place to live in a town I don’t really know and finding a job to pay for said place and getting all the paperwork of being a new student done and packing and packing and packing and packing…
Because I know myself well enough, Reader, to know that if I stop and realize that I’m leaving, actually leaving, I will lose my shit.
It’s horrendously unfair that, to follow God where He is leading (dragging) me, I have to leave that which made me capable of following in the first place. And my friends will still be here and they’ll keep in touch (I hope) and that support network won’t die (I think), but it will never be the same. Moments like this change everything, and I am not a fan of change.
Which makes it super unfortunate that I work for God, because He tends to ask for change ALL THE DAMN TIME.
But anyway. I wanted to let you know, Reader, that I will continue blogging—I just have to be a little less busy and a lot less raw to do so. Stick with me; this will be a crazy awesome adventure.
(If you think to pray for me, that would be super amazingly welcome. Because it will also be a terrifying, heartbreaking, uncomfortable adventure in which God breaks me of dependence on everything but Him and I am not happy with this at all.)
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)