Transition Is a Beast

Hi, Reader!  I just wanted to check in since I know I’ve fallen off of my weekly rhythm of late.  My apologies, and my thanks for your patience.  You see, having come to the place of applying to seminary, then getting accepted to seminary, then accepting that acceptance, then resigning from my job, then tying off the loose ends of this life I’ve built over the last six years…

Now I have to move.

Egads!  Everything I own is covered in dust and cobwebs, I’m finding, but also I own SO MUCH STUFF tucked away in odd corners.

And in between the sneezing fits and sweaty shiftings of boxes, I’ve been a little preoccupied realizing that I’ve made quite a space for myself in the hearts of some folks up here.  That may sound silly to you, but when you leave a place you are given a front row seat to the impact you’ve had—sort of It’s a Wonderful Life without the having-never-been-born bit.  And damn, Reader, but I’ve wormed my way into a lot of random places I hadn’t even realized.

And leaving that sucks.  So.  Much.

So I’ve been super busy with preaching and lunches and getting my job ready so someone else can step into it and finding a place to live in a town I don’t really know and finding a job to pay for said place and getting all the paperwork of being a new student done and packing and packing and packing and packing…

Because I know myself well enough, Reader, to know that if I stop and realize that I’m leaving, actually leaving, I will lose my shit.

It’s horrendously unfair that, to follow God where He is leading (dragging) me, I have to leave that which made me capable of following in the first place.  And my friends will still be here and they’ll keep in touch (I hope) and that support network won’t die (I think), but it will never be the same.  Moments like this change everything, and I am not a fan of change.

Which makes it super unfortunate that I work for God, because He tends to ask for change ALL THE DAMN TIME.

But anyway.  I wanted to let you know, Reader, that I will continue blogging—I just have to be a little less busy and a lot less raw to do so.  Stick with me; this will be a crazy awesome adventure.

(If you think to pray for me, that would be super amazingly welcome.  Because it will also be a terrifying, heartbreaking, uncomfortable adventure in which God breaks me of dependence on everything but Him and I am not happy with this at all.)

 

 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)

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2 thoughts on “Transition Is a Beast

  1. You may not get this until later, but that’s all right. Your move poses interesting cartographical questions. I presume you’ll still be in Pilgrim Land, even though you’ll be hundreds of miles away. So how big is this place, and can progress through it be measured in miles? I will answer my own questions and say that I guess Pilgrim Land is as big as the whole world, and that progress through it is surely not measured in miles, although I believe you will find yourself a good bit farther along once you arrive in the new place, just by virtue of the fact that you accepted the invitation. I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your travels through this Realm of Mysteries, although you may be too busy to keep to your old writing schedule. Know that others are walking through this mythic dimension with you, although we are physically miles apart.

    Godspeed!

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    • I’ve been thinking about this lately, actually, in terms of how I’m going to talk about the world I inhabit now that it’s a different world with different people. I think the Land of Pilgrims will still be confined to where I was, even though you’re totally right in saying that I’ll be in that land no matter where I go. There will be a slight variation to name where I am now; you’ll just have to wait for Friday to find out what, because of course I’ll keep writing. It may indeed not be the same schedule, but I’ve found this blog keeps me really grounded and mindful during the week—and I need that even more now. So thank you for continuing to walk with me, Magister; even in these first few days, I see over and over how that support from a distance makes this in any way possible.

      Liked by 1 person

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